Pigskin and Chauvinist Pigs

Football. It’s my favorite sport both to watch and draw about. Anytime I can mix the game I love and it’s effects on our personal relationships I’m a happy camper. These cartoons are very rarely autobiographical but rather a composite of the American way of life.

I also love bookstores. Now that they have Starbucks often built right in the stores themselves I can enjoy two of may favorite pastimes simultaneously. Which means I can send twice as much time there because I know I can refuel on caffiene when the book titles start to get a little blurry. So, I’m in Borders this weekend, browsing around and this book catches my eye called The Football Fan’s Manifesto by Michael Tunison.

I didn’t buy it, but I caught enough of a glimpse of it that I’ve added it to my “might buy later list”, which admittedly grows longer with each subsequent visit to the bookstore. Anyway, this is one of the fun things that grabbed me from the book. Feel Free to add your own commandments.

The Football Fan’s Ten Commandments

1. You Must Choose Your Team by the Age of Eight.

2. Value That Team Above All Else, Even Yourself.

3. Under No Circumstances Can You Switch Teams (And Expect to Live).

4. There is a Limit to the Amount of Merchandise You Can Own (But It’s Very Generous).

5. Sportsmanship is for the Athletes. Fans Can Gloat Endlessly.

6. A Self-Induced Coma to Skip the Off-season is a Practical Solution to an Annoying Problem.

7. An Inoffensive Fantasy Football Name is a Lame Fantasy Football Name.

8. Wealth Doesn’t Matter So Long As You Don’t Have to Work Weekends.

9. Respect Superstitions. If Your Team Lost, It’s Because You Jinxed Them.

10. In Life, the Order of Importance: Football First, Football Second, Football Third, Family . . . uh, I Don’t Know, twelfth?